When the roots are different, how can the same flowers bloom?
It was always different. My childhood, experiences and lessons. I have seen and experienced things many around me haven’t even fathomed. I have not seen and experienced things that many have.
I am not part of the norm. So why am I comparing myself with the herd? The herd that has earmarked timelines and follow them to the tee, the normal who have the same kind of relationships and expectations and dreams, the usual crowd that moves towards the same things, in a similar fashion. Am I generalizing? Yes. But keeping aside the differences we all harbor, there is a social norm.
I don’t meet that. I never have. So it really is stupid when I find myself comparing my life with theirs. When I measure myself against their yardstick, try to fit into a mold that has never appealed to me and then feel out of place.
We all have our own stories. And some stories have a schema – loving family, bad witch/wizard, a fairy godmother, the prince or princess of their dreams and a happily ever after.
My story is a little twisted. Some of our stories are a little off-beat. And no, we don’t fit in. We stand out. We don’t have any notion of a happy family. We don’t get childhood friendships that continue into years. Some of us grew up with pain, loneliness and without a sense of belonging. We grew up with adult experiences and childish expectations.
So, of course we don’t have the conventional happy ending. We cannot. That’s the wrong script. Our conversations are not the same, because you can’t have a romance movie dialogue said in the middle of a epic drama. The tragic plot cannot sustain frivolous emotions.
There is no discrimination because nobody has it easy. We all go through our ups and downs. But there are some stories which just have something distinctive – it has a sole protagonist. The one who fights the world – alone.
So, if you find yourself looking around you and wondering why you don’t have the same job, relationship, body, wealth, health or status, why you struggle more than the rest, why you are the one who is always left behind, why you always remain invisible, why nobody seems to give a fuck… know your story is different.
My story is different.
And my happy ending will also be very different.