What do you do when you find that opportunity you have been thinking about for long, and they turn back and say, “You aren’t right for us.” When the man who has been starring in your nightly fantasies walks by without a glance? When that promotion you have been eyeing is given to a colleague? When the plans you were looking forward to all week long gets cancelled?
First, call is disappointment and not rejection. Rejection gives the power of knowledge and the authority of decision to another person, which in most situations isn’t true.The ones who decline your candidature, or the man who you are crushing on, don’t know the intensity or existence of your passion. They don’t know how long you have fretted about what you will wear, say or look like when you present yourself to them. They are only present in that fraction of time when you interact with them. So, it in unfair to say they rejected you, because they barely got to know you.
The emotion you feel of being led down and side-lined is a culmination of the time you spend thinking about that promotion or the weekend ahead. So what we truly deal with is disappointment. And disappointments, are a part of life.
Second, life isn’t about you – for them. You are the only one who knows and cares about yourself. So don’t go expecting their consideration of attention. Let yourself know the only one who has the ownership to make you feel made is you. That decisions is yours alone.
Third, process your emotion. Let is fester for a while. It will make you cry, rage, whine and confess. Let it out. Let it churn your gut and make you feel hollow. Let that niggling feeling of self-doubt takes its course and die its death. But don’t restrain your emotions from flowing through you. That is the only way they absolve themselves. That is the only way you can move past beyond them.
Fourth, find a distraction. It is easy to let that hole in your life consume you. Fill that hole. Find someone exciting or boring, but which occupies times. Clean, cook, write, read, dance. Do something which takes you away from what occurred.
Fifth, anger helps. Anger, ego, pride, it boosts our esteem sometimes. Let it take over for a while. Let it make your feel special again. Let it make you feel whole again. It counters those self-defeating thoughts which dwell so easily in our minds. Be angry and say, “I’m done.” Be proud and think, “I’m better”. Let your ego soothe the hurt and make your believe, “You deserve more.”
Sixth, believe in yourself. You’ve come a long way to get where you are in life, learnt enough to hold you in good stead. One disappointment isn’t going to lessen your worth. It only makes you much more stronger and braver. So have faith, not in situations or people, but in your ability to pave your way forward.
And move on.