Single & Lonely? It’s Okay!

We were on our way back from a party in a cab. The five of us, giggling, letting the spirits we consumed toggle around our sensibilities and be loud and obnoxious. The driver didn’t complain. The first stop was at a junction, where waited the husband, the bike grunting in the silent lane. She waved goodbye, let loose a couple of kisses and toppled out of the car.

Next was the other husband, slowly ambling down the street from their apartment when the cab slowed down, and after a couple of hugs she walked, on sturdy shoes, to her man.

I and my friend were the only ones left behind from the party of seven girls. We looked at each other at the back seat of the cab, while he took us home. Two single women, who checked their bags for keys, who strapped on their shoes tight, because there would be no hand to hold but our own if we stumbled. We smiled.  A little sad, a little amused. Strong, independent women, who felt just a little twinge when they saw their friends walk home to somebody.

That was just one evening of countless, and a situation among so many. There is nothing wrong in being a single girl. But, the status of being single does not require the condition of right or wrong. It is a state of being, and it is allowed to arouse different emotions at different times. So when a single girl yearns for someone and gets a tad bit lonely at times, it is okay.

The mucked up versions of feminism and just modern society make it very easy for a single girl to feel guilty about feeling lonely. My wanting to be with somebody does not reflect on my self-sufficiency. A girl wanting to be with a guy does not automatically depict dependency, emotional plight or the cliched need for security. The best is when  friendships are proposed as a substitute to being in a relationship. I mean, so what if you don’t have a boyfriend, you have amazing friends. Why would you be lonely?

Why can I not be lonely? I want someone to think about in the middle of the day, someone who makes my heart beat a little faster, someone who makes me silly and finds my silliness adorable. I want someone who makes me giddy with joy and evokes passion, makes my blood race and makes me feel all those things poets write verses about. I want the madness and the craze, which all those who are hooked very confidently say, “you are better off without”.

A single girl can have the best of friends and make the best of what life gives, and still yearn. It is okay. It does not mar her strength or her esteem. It does not make her wanting or weak. Her status does not define her, but it also does not restrict her.

It makes her just a single girl, who can be lonely. Without being judged.



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